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Cataclysm on Earth

April 15, 2010

Apparently no planes are flying in Scotland due to a cloud of volcanic ash that floated over from Iceland. My reactions to this news:

• what, first Icelandic banks and now Icelandic ash clogging up the UK economy. Obviously a plot and Labour was right to use anti-terror legislation against this dangerous country!

• ooh, how exciting, it’s the prelude to Cataclysm. First earthquakes and now volcanoes. Er, should I not be thinking this?

• This is Arcturis from Blubber News inc. A volcano has just erupted in Iceland causing devestation to local inhabitants and distinct inconvenience to thousands of UK businesses and holiday makers. A delegation from Scotland Yard has been sent over by fast whaler to hijack the investigation and sound as if the embattled UK government had a clue. “We’ve a solid lead on the perpetrator,” said Chief Assistans Deputy Detective Constable Inspector Ploddette, “he’s half a mile long, covered in sheets of metal to hold his lava in, and goes around destroying worlds. We’d go and arrest him once we’ve had a nice cuppa and a few lengthy bits of paperwork. But this is really just animal high spirits and we’re more worried about Ysera who has been asleep for so long she must be on some kind of drug. So, if Iceland just pops down to their local police station we’ll tell them to go away and phone in for a claim reference number so they can claim on their insurance.” Icelandic officials were unavailable to comment due to having been eaten by a dragon.

Right, your turn. Which thought came first to me?

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 15, 2010 18:26

    I will go for:

    “ooh, how exciting, it’s the prelude to Cataclysm. First earthquakes and now volcanoes. Er, should I not be thinking this? “

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